PART 2
In the Thick of the Battle
68
Because of my poor track record, I’ve made it my habit not even turn the TV on in a hotel
72
Don’t allow sin to gain a foothold. Be radical. Don’t go on-line alone late at night or at any time when you’re feeling week.
74-75
Custom-tailored plan for fighting lust.
1) List you own top three lust triggers. How can you avoid them?
Internet (video) – not compromise to my thoughts, go away from PC
TV in hotel – not to turn on TV
Girls around – not to have second look
2) What time of day or week are you most tempted by lust? What can you do to prepare for those times?
At night, alone, weekends – do meaningful things like read books and write letters.
3) Which locations are the most tempting for you? How can you limit your time in those places?
At home – not to turn on PC
4) What five little battles to do you need to be fighting more faithfully? Describe in detail what it looks like for you to fight – and win – these battles.
84-85
How are we different?
- A man’s sexual desire is often more physical, while a woman’s desire is more often rooted in emotional longings.
- A man is generally wired to be the sexual initiator and is stimulated visually; a woman is generally wired to be the sexual responder and is stimulated by touch.
- A man is created to pursue and finds even the pursuit stimulating; a woman is made to want to be pursued and finds even being pursued stimulating.
86
It makes a man’s good desire to pursue all about “capturing” and “using”, and a woman’s goal desire to be beautiful all about “seduction” and “manipulation”. In general it seems that men and women are tempted by lust in two unique ways: men are tempted by the pleasure of lust offers, while women are tempted by the power lust promises.
At the heart of guy’s temptation to list is often a desire for sensual and physical pleasure. The payoff of lust for a guy is that it will feel good.
(for women) What does come naturally is a desire for intimacy. (…rooted in fantasy about a relationship with him)
87
Lust offers men the pleasure of sex devoid of the hard work of intimacy. Lust offers women the power to get what they want relationally if they use their sexuality to seduce.
“I believe that the root of women’s struggle with lust is that we want to dominate men, control them, and manipulate them through sexual appeal,” a married woman from Knoxville wrote to me.
89-90
For guys:
- Female desire is often rooted in emotional longings
- They’re stimulated by touch.
- They’re excited by being pursued.
Helping to guard their purity doesn’t mean avoiding them. It means caring for them and extending genuine friendship. We can encourage Christian women we know who are serving God passionately. We can thank women who dress modestly.
And finally, we pray for our sisters. Do you ever pray that God would help the women you know to find their satisfaction in Him? Take the time to pray that God would help them love holiness and avoid the wrong visions of feminity the world constantly offer them. Pray that God would help them be virtuous, not seductive. Your prayers and friendship will accomplish more than you can imagine.
100
We know we might sin again, but we choose to press on in obedience and trust God to help us.
118
Instead of seeing how much I can avoid, I spend my energy trying to see how much I can handle. I’m like a person who figures out he can take half a poison pill every day without killing himself. It’s good that he’s not dying, but can it be healthy to take all those halves of poison pills?
Source: Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is): Sexual Purity in a Lust-Saturated World - Joshua Harris (2005)
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