I Kissed Dating Goodbye - Joshua Harris (1997) 4/4

PART 4
Looking ahead

166
“Marriage is much more than a wedding ceremony,” write Gary and Betsy Ricucci in their book Love that Lasts. “A wedding is an event, but a marriage is a state of being. It’s not a one-time act; it’s a lifelong commitment to be developed and maintained.”

167
How should we view marriage? According to this sermon, reverently, discreetly, advisedly, and soberly. These words, rich in meaning, give us a vivid and vast picture of marriage. Reverence means “a profound respect mingled with awe.” Discretion means “discernment or good judgement.” To do something advisedly means “to carefully consider” it. And to approach something soberly means “to be well-balanced, unaffected by passion, excitement, or prejudice.”

170
Marriage is a refining process. Conflict will occur in every marriage.

177
3 Characters
As we evaluate someone’s character (including your won), we need to carefully observe three areas – how the individual relates to God, the way he or she treats others, and the way this person disciplines his r her personal life. These areas are like windows to a person’s character.

181- 183
4 Attitudes
1) Willing obedience to God
2) Humility – considers others’ needs first.
3) Industriousness (Diligent)
4) Contentment and Hopefulness

189 –
4 Stages
1) Casual friendship – relational responsibilities
Every time when you feel attracted to someone, keep in mind that you’re involved in three kinds of relationships: your relationship with the person you’re interested in; your relationship with the people around you, including family and friends; and most important, your relationship with God. You have a responsibility toward each.
2) Deeper friendship
Friendship-deepening activities like service/ministry in church
As you friendship progresses, avoid saying and doing things that express romantic love. The context of a deepening friendship is not the time to talk about your possible future together; it’s time to get to know each other, serve God together in the church, and listen for God’s leading.
3) Courtship: purposeful intimacy with integrity
4) Engagement
I like Elisabeth Elliot’s advice to couples: “Keep your hands off and your clothes on.” Until you’re married, please don’t treat each other as if your bodies belong to each other even if you’re engaged.


Source: I Kissed Dating Goodbye - Joshua Harris (1997)