1 Corinthians 3: 21-23
So then let no one boast in men. For all things belong to you, whether
Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or things present or
things to come; all things belong to you, and you belong to Christ; and Christ
belongs to God.
Observe the phrase “all things belong to you.” I spent a year asking
God what these words meant. I came to the conclusion that they show the
adequacy of God for us in every situation. All you or I will ever need to
fulfill His will for your lives He will provide and not one minute later than
we need it. Any help from another person, or any provision from the world, any
blessing in life or death, any present or future blessing – all of this belongs
to Him. These blessings have been given to us in order to serve our wonderful
Savior and Master, Jesus Christ, because we belong to Him. We have earned His
judgment, but in His grace all things belong to us in Christ.
81-82
In order to experience contentment, we must learn to delight in the
Lord and repent of anything that is hindering a flourishing relationship with
God. A verse that may seem far away and inapplicable from us is Isaiah 48: 22,
which states, “There is no peace for the wicked.”
You say, “Yes, that is right; they do not deserve peace and contentment.” But let me ask you one question, “What is more wicked than telling God that He cannot rule over an area of your life?” To do so is to spurn His great gift of peace and contentment. In the testimony of my own courtship, I related how God convicted me of idolatry. In this case I sensed that God was directing me to end my relationship. In this case it was also resurrected some years later.
You say, “Yes, that is right; they do not deserve peace and contentment.” But let me ask you one question, “What is more wicked than telling God that He cannot rule over an area of your life?” To do so is to spurn His great gift of peace and contentment. In the testimony of my own courtship, I related how God convicted me of idolatry. In this case I sensed that God was directing me to end my relationship. In this case it was also resurrected some years later.
What do you do when you long for another person? Remember that it is
not a sin to be tempted (Hebrews 4: 15). First of all, you can thank God for
your normal desire. It is natural to long for companionship and intimacy. In
order to not let his longing take your thoughts in the wrong direction, bring
your thoughts in the light to God and share them whit Him. Reaffirm the truth
of His knowledge of your needs and desires and of His loving care for you. Be
honest in your conversation with Him. Trust Him to fulfill your desire in His
righteous ways and perfect timing (John 7: 37-39). In order not to unduly live
in the future, ask Him also to make the most of your singleness for His glory.
As Jim Elliot said, “Wherever you are, be all there.”
84
As you respond to the Lord in your single years, you are not only
giving yourself the best preparation for marriage but also building a spiritual
heritage for future generations. Fanny Crosby was given a wrong medical
treatment at six weeks of age that resulted in permanent blindness. As a child
she made up her mind to store in her heart what she called the “little jewel of
contentment.” She declared this jewel to be the “comfort of her life.” When she
was eight years old she wrote:
O what a happy soul am I!
Although I cannot see,
I am resolved that in this world
Contented I will be.
How many blessings I enjoy
that other people don’t.
To weep and sigh because I’m blind;
I cannot, and I won’t.
93-94
If only I could look each teenage girl in the eye and tell her, “There
are consequences to every moral decision you make; there are repercussions that
will follow you the rest of your life and into the next generation!”
How I yearn to look each teenage boy in the eye and tell him, “Be
strong. Be a real man. Trust God’s Word, discipline yourself, don’t give in to
youthful lust and trade your birthright of godly love for mess of pottage that
will turn to ashes in your heart.”
I have learned too late the truth I hear a man of God say: “Love can
always wait to give. Lust can never wait to get.”
95-96
After McQuilkin cared for Muriel and watched her suffer from
Alzheimer’s for twenty-five years, the Lord took her home on September 20,
2003. As he reflected on what he had learned, he noted that it was painful to
love her and know that she was not capable of loving him back. One day he
thought, “Lord, is that the way it is between you and me? You pouring out your
love and care so consciously, and what do you get back – a brief salute in the
morning, we connect, grumbling when I don’t get what I want, when you don’t do
it the way I like?” McQuilkin has inspired countess others by his love and
faithfulness to his vows.
102
You are blessed if you have friends who can help you assess and develop
Christlike character. It also helpful to realize that your present family relationships
can set patterns that could affect a marriage. Would you desire to marry a
person like yourself? What will you w belike as a marriage partner? The way a
young man treats his mother and sister tends to set the tone for how he will
treat his future wife. In a similar vein, a young lady’s relationship to her
father and brothers can establish set ways of relating to her future husband.
109-110
CS Lewis alluded to these maters when he wrote:
Good and evil both increase at compound interest, that is why the
little decisions you and I make every day are of such infinite importance. The
smallest good act today is the capture of a strategic point from which, a few
months later, you will be able to go on to victories you never dreamed of. An
apparent trivial indulgence in lust or anger today is the loss of a ridge or
railway line or bridgehead from which the enemy may launch an attack otherwise
impossible.
113
I received an encouraging letter in the mail from a formal student
named Susan:
I’m now forty-four years old and God has given me great contentment,
joy, faith, and knowledge in His love. You once suggested praying for a man
with the qualities in Psalm
112. I’ve also added James
3:17-18 to that list! My prayer request to you one semester was for a
husband.
Psalm 112
1 Praise the Lord.
Blessed are those who fear the Lord,
who find great delight in his
commands.
2 Their children will be mighty in the land;
the generation of the upright
will be blessed.
3 Wealth and riches are in their houses,
and their righteousness
endures forever.
4 Even in darkness light dawns for the upright,
for those who are gracious
and compassionate and righteous.
5 Good will come to those who are generous and lend freely,
who conduct their affairs
with justice.
6 Surely the righteous will never be shaken;
they will be remembered
forever.
7 They will have no fear of bad news;
their hearts are steadfast,
trusting in the Lord.
8 Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear;
in the end they will look in
triumph on their foes.
9 They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor,
their righteousness endures
forever;
their horn[c] will be lifted
high in honor.
10 The wicked will see and be vexed,
they will gnash their teeth
and waste away;
the longings of the wicked will come to nothing.
James 3
17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then
peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial
and sincere.
18 Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.
120
God gave Adam a mission to obey Him, and then He provided a helper in
Eve. The provision came fight after the command (Genesis 2: 16-18). The context would indicate
that a wife is God’s provision to help a husband to obey Him. The focus of the
single years is to discover God’s calling, and then obey Him. If a man needs a
wife to fulfill this calling, he can surely believe God to provide one in His
timing.
Genesis 2
16 And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any
tree in the garden;
17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and
evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”
18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will
make a helper suitable for him.”
127-128
Satan attacked Eve’s understanding of God’s goodness in the garden and
led humanity into sin (Genesis 3: 1-4). Every human faces this scheme of the
devil each day of his life. Realize, too, that some of God’s good gifts may
come in strange packages. It is not often that you hear someone thanking God
for the good gift for loneliness. However, it is often in loneliness that the
deepest companionship with God is cultivated. Anything that encourages you to
cry out to God can be overruled for good. As long as you seek God, He can put
His prospering hand upon you to fulfill His will (2 Chronicles 26: 5).
Source: Believing God for His best: How to marry contentment and singleness by Bill Thrasher (2004)
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