FORGIVE and TRUST

20 Sep

We had our EXCO retreat in Ipoh Boutique Hotel. We departed from Klang after lunch in Setia Alam with 5 of us in my Toyota Unser. I was driving at the middle lane on the highway.

A car in front of mine slowed down and I turned to the right lane. I overlooked a Proton was driving fast coming behind at the right lane. I pressed my break paddle and turned back to the middle lane to be away from the right lane. However it was too late already where, my car hit the left side of the Proton and subsequently the Proton also hit the divider at the right side.

Both cars stopped by at the side. Besides the Proton driver there were two other persons (looked like foreigners) in the car. All of them were wearing casually, it seemed to me that they were going for sports. Both sides of the car were dented at the area above of the front tyre and at the connecting area of the door under the front mirror. In fact the door of the driver seat was not able to open.

We decided to go to a workshop to check out the repair cost. We went to a workshop at Damansara Utama and the quoted price was RM500. We agreed that I shall go and find out the repair cost at my workshop and call one another up to settle this issue after that. We exchanged contact numbers.

22 Sep

I called the driver and offered him to 2 options to settle it:

1. To come to my workshop in Klang who quoted RM300 to repair

2. To bank in the payment of RM300 to his account

The driver responded by saying that he would get back to me.

9 Oct

No calls from the driver and I called him but he did not pick up a call. Later I received a text message from his number mentioning that he is now outstation and will call me back tomorrow.

10 Oct

He called me. He mentioned that he has checked with a few workshops and the cost of repair is RM500. He was not willing to take any of the options I offered. After sometime of conversation, He agreed to come to my workshop in Klang to repair his car and for me to bear the cost. He decided to meet up tomorrow at 10am at the workshop. I texted him the address of the workshop.

11 Oct

I waited for his call at home since 10am. I drove and passed by the workshop after 1030am and did not see the Proton there. So I went back and called him before 11am and nobody picked up the call.

17 Oct

After about a week later, the car owner called me. He asked me how to settle it. He insisted to do at his workshop nearby his place and for me to bear the cost. He questioned my turning up at the workshop last week and said why I called him so late and said that maybe I was not there at tall. I was angry that he did not admit that he did not keep him promise in the first place. He said that he knows me because his brother is working at the same place as mine and he even said where is the taman I stay in. I requested for some time to think about it but he ended the call angrily.

Later I told my dad and brother about this. I had the thought to report it to police.

We were having a crucial conversation where there were strong emotions and opposing opinions. I was thinking how to resolve this in a good manner for both.

After thinking through, an idea came into my mind to ask him to meet up face-to-face in order to apologize to him and to let him know where he was wrong as well. I am willing to pay the RM500 if he insisted. How am I going to do it - through mutual purpose and mutual respect. I hope to help him to realize where he went wrong and not to do it again.

I discussed with my mum. She said better to have somebody to accompany me as well. She prayed for me.

19 Oct

My mind has been thinking about it and asking God how should I go about it. The Bible teaches us to love our enemy. It is really a struggle when I am facing one in front of myself. In order to love my enemy I have to forgive him first. I cannot not to forgive because I was reminded how much God has forgiven me as a sinner. I prayed to God for his forgiveness towards my own selfishness and pride and asked Him to grant me the strength to love him. I practised what to say to him and called him at 7.30pm. The call was not picked up and I left him a message to call back. Hopefully he will get back to me soon.

I have fear within me to that he would do something to me at my workplace or my house. I pray to God to help me to trust Him that He is greater than any other things else.

FORGIVE and TRUST…

Further conversation:

10/20/14
Friend: I'm not in malaysia now....only be back on friday....what's its all about matthew.
Me: Glad that you have Whatsapp too. Wanted to call you to apologize and to discuss on this issue. It's ok...would get in touch with you again after you are back. Thanks.
Friend: Trying to call you just now. No worries..would call you again.
Me: Just whatsapp me matthew.....I'm at a noisy place
Friend: Once again I would like to apologize for the car accident. Yes I agree with you that it is unfair to you if the car damage on your car is just to leave it like that.
After thinking through, I would like to invite you to meet up together to chat about it and to solve it at your convenient time. I also want to take this opportunity to say sorry to you in person.
Are you more convenient during weekdays or weekends? What do you think?


10/27/14
Friend: Matthew, I accept your apologize but you need pay the damage at a reasonable cost. I don't want to waste your time by meeting up & waiting for you to bank in the amount latest by this week. Tq
Me: Thank you for accepting my apology. It's certainly not wasting my time for meeting you up because it's a commitment from me to resolve this together.
If you prefer to meet up, I can still arrange. However if bank in is more convenient, I could also do that. I hope you would find RM as the reasonable amount.
Kindly let me know your bank details so that I can bank in the amount to your account. I shall inform you again after bank in. Thanks a lot and look forward to hearing from you again.


11/1/14
Friend: This my bank account Matthew, just bank in tomorrow so i can repair my car by monday. It would be nice if u bank more than RM because i definitely need to pay more to repair.
Friend: Any way tq

11/2/14
Me: Thank you for the bank account details. Kindly find the attached bank in slip above for your reference.
I have banked in an additional of RM to your bank account with the total amount of RM. Trust that you find this well.
Once again sorry for the incident. Actually I have prepared an apology card for you. Should you drop by Klang in the future, feel free to give me a call so that I could pass the card to you:)
Many thanks!
Friend: Ok thanks a lot for ur respond Matthew. I very appreciate it. Yes will inform u if I'll pass klang. Thanks again.