Shout To The Lord

My Jesus, my Saviour
Lord there is none like You
All of my days I want to praise
The wonders of Your mighty love

My comfort, my shelter
Tower of refuge and strength
Let every breath, all that I am
Never cease to worship You

Shout to the Lord
All the Earth, let us sing
Power and majesty
Praise to the King
Mountains bow down
And the seas will roar
At the sound of Your name

I sing for joy at the work
Of Your hands
Forever I'll love You
Forever I'll stand
Nothing compares
To the promise I have
In You

Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tblpN1IJtZk

Boy Meets Girl – Joshua Harris (2000) 3/3

PART 3: Before you say “I do”

179
John Stott writes, “Before we can being to see the cross as something done for us (leading us to faith and worship), we have to see it as something done by us (leading us to repentance)…As we face the cross, then, we can say to ourselves both ‘I did it; my sins sent Him there,’ and ‘He did it; His love took Him there.’”

181
Self-righteousness is also expressed by the person who refuses to accept God’s forgiveness. “I just can’t forgive myself,” she says. “Maybe God can, but I can’t.” It might appear pious, but statements like these are really a form of reverse pride that says, “My standards are higher than God’s.” Instead of humbly acknowledging that her sin was against God and that only He can wipe it away, she tries to become her own savior. She tries to hear her own punishment, pay penance by wallowing in guilt or doing good deeds, or add to God’s favour through obedience.

182
We have nothing to do with the Great Rescue. In fact, the only thing we contribute is the sin that has to be paid for.

185
Do you think there are any sins of yours that Jesus didn’t have to die for? The every sin of pride that caused you to destroy your child is what killed Christ as well. It does not matter that you weren’t there two thousand years ago. We all sent him there. Luther said that we carry his very nails in our pockets. So if you have done it before, then why couldn’t you do it again?”

185
But Becky, if the cross shows me that I am far worse than I had ever imagined, it also shows me that my evil has been absorbed and forgiven. If the worst thing any human can do is to kill God’s son, and that can be forgiven, then how can anything else – even my abortion – not be forgiven?”

186-193
Proper understanding of the cross.
1) Because of the Cross, you can be absolutely sure of God’s love for you and His complete forgiveness of your past sin.
2) Because of the Cross you can confess your past sin to your partner.
The biggest problem in your life is not whether a particular man or woman accepts you, but whether the God of the universe forgives you. The Cross shows that your biggest problem – God’s wrath – has been taken care of. Confidence and security in God’s love can give you the courage to confess your sin to someone else with the knowledge that God has forgiven you.
Telling me about her past was one of the hardest things Shannon had ever done. But she was able to do it because she knew that God, the person her sin had offended the most, had forgiven her. If I rejected her, she would not have been devastated, because her ultimate security was found in the blood-bought acceptance of her Father in heaven.
3) Because of the Cross, you can forgive the past sin of another person.
- First, you have the opportunity to be a channel of God’s forgiveness. Though it’s easy to see only how their sin affects you, remember that it’s probably twice as hard for him or her to tell you as it is for you to listen. Keep reminding them of feelings, continually point them to the Cross and make sure they’re rooted in an understanding of God’s grace.
- Second, don’t allow what can be an appropriate sense of loss and disappointment at the effects of sin turn into self-righteousness or bitterness toward the other person. You may be a virgin, but you too are a sinner who only be saved by the atoning death of Jesus.
- Third, while you should forgive the man or woman you ‘re in relationship with, you shouldn’t equate forgiveness with an obligation to get married.
- Finally, if you do choose to get married, make sure that you forgive like God does – choose to remember their past sin no more. As humans, we can't do it perfectly like God does, but we can refuse to dwell in the past. When it comes to mind, we can push it away. As Jay Adams says, “Forgiveness is a promise, not a feeling.”

195
The pain of the past caused us both to draw closer to the cross of our Savior Jesus. The gospel became more real, more cherished, more powerful than ever before.

196-197
The real questions are: “Are we ready to care for, sacrifice for, and love each other through good times and bad?” and “Do we believe that we could glorify God more as a couple than as individuals?” and “Are we ready for forever?”

206
Remember, you’re under no obligation to get married. A successful courtship is one in which two people treat each other with holiness and sincerity and make a wise choice about marriage – whether the choice is yes or no.

212
A godly courtship establishes habits and patterns that can continue on until “death do us apart.”

218
The Bible tells us that human history will culminate in a wedding (Revelation 19: 7). We, the church, will be Christ’s bride. At that celebration there will be no regret. No tears of sorrow. No man or woman will watch from afar wondering when his or her time will come. That moment will be our time – the time for which we were made. We will each treasure the unique story of the grace that God wrote with our lives. And we’ll see that this is the wedding all other weddings have hinted at. That this Groom is the One our hearts have always longed for.

220
God’s was really is best. His timing is perfect. Waiting on Him is more than worth it. Honoring Him and practicing His principles as you walk the path to marriage will lead you to the greatest joy and fulfilment.

Source: Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello To Courtship – Joshua Harris (2000)

Boy Meets Girl – Joshua Harris (2000) 2/3

PART 2: The Season of Courtship

75
I believe that in a God-glorying, wisdom-guided courtship we have two central priorities. The first is to treat each other with holiness and sincerity; the second is o make an informed and wise decision about marriage.

76
Second Corinthians 1: 12 sums up what every Christian couple should be able to say at the end of a courtship:
Now this is our boast: Our conscience testifies that we have conducted ourselves in the world, and especially in our relations with you, in the holiness and sincerity that are from God. We have done so not according to worldly wisdom but according to God’s grace.

78-83
Grow and guard in three areas
1) Friendship
The strategic question to keep in mind is: How can you let each other see the “real you”? Whatever it is you love, whatever it is that captures your imagination, invite the other person into it – ask the other to take you into his or her world too.
The focus of your friendship in its early stages should be on getting to know each other, not on creating premature intimacy and emotional dependence. In the beginning of your courtship, look for activities where the focus is on something besides being a couple. In your conversations and questions, avoid talking about the relationship. Instead, seek to learn about each other.
2) Fellowship
As your relationship unfolds, you want to make sure it has a spiritual foundation. For your relationship to be strong, love for God must be the common passion of your hearts. Courtship is the time tot grow in your ability to share this passion for God and learn to encourage each other in your faith.
You goal is to point each other to Him.
3) Romance
The essence of pure romance is pursuit – a man showing through his words and appropriate actions his care, affections, and sincere love for a woman and the woman responding in kind.
Our guideline for what we do and don’t do during courtship is that we never want our romantic expression to promise more commitment than we would be ready to express in words.

91
Courtship is the time both to look for weak spots in your communication and to work to strengthen them. Our standards shouldn’t be perfection, but consistent growth.

91-99
5 principles for authentic communication
1) Communication problems are usually heart problems.
2) Your ears are your most important communication tools.
When you ask the other person a question, absorb the answer. Note not only the words used, but also how they are spoken. Ask follow-up questions. Care more about their opinions and ideas than your own.
3) Good communication doesn’t happen by accident.
Taking your time in your courtship is wise. But don't assume that a long courtship means that you're communicating well. You have to be intentional about it. Communication doesn’t just happen. It’s something we have to plan for and work at.
We men should assume the responsibility of initiating meaningful communication in our relationships. Don’t plan activities; plan conversations. Before you get together, think about some of the questions you’d like to ask her. What do you want to discover? Be curious!
4) The absence of conflict doesn’t equal good communication.
Our goal shouldn’t be to avoid conflict, but to learn to work through it and resolve it in a way that honors God.
- Give actual and specific examples. If necessary, make notes before you communicate. Stay away from generalities.
- Keep talking and asking questions until you are sure that you both understand clearly what the other is saying and feeling. Encourage each other as you press toward a solution (Romans 14: 19)
5) Motive is more important than technique.
Before we worry about method or technique, we need to make sure the motive of our heart is pleasing to God. He wants our motive to be to sincerely love and serve others – to build up, encourage, and benefit them.

100
Brittany, Kyle realised that until he was ready to propose, he needed to steer away from talking about “the future” as if they would be together then. “It wouldn’t be fair to Brittany for me to say, ‘Oh, wouldn’t it be great if we had a house like that one day,’ or even, ‘Someday in the future we’ll do such and such a thing.’ It makes it hard for her to say focused on where we are right now in the relationship.”

107
Within the context of their equality, God assigned men and women different roles. He made Adam first, signifying his unique role as leader and initiator. He created ever from Adam and brought her to Adam to be his helper in the tasks God had assigned him. She was made to complement, nourish, and help her husband. God’s greatest gift to man was “a helper suitable for him” 9Genesis 2: 18). This doesn’t minimize woman’s role, but it does define it.

109-113
Let’s be men
1) Assume the responsibility of leading and initiating in your relationships with women.
2) Be spiritual leader in your relationships with women.
3) Do little things in your relationships with women that communicate your care, respect, and desire to protect.
4) Encourage women to embrace godly femininity.

114
If a man’s biggest temptation is to be passive, a woman’s biggest temptation is to take control.

119
Being faithful to His plan will require faith, great courage, and the constant awareness that God, not you, is in the central figure of the plot – the story of human history is all about Him.

124
Kerrin and Megan didn’t just invite other people to share their wedding day. Much earlier they had invited them to participate in their love story. The health and success of their courtship and subsequent marriage was integrally linked to the support, love, and strength they received from their church and family. “No man is an island,” John Doanne wrote. The same can be said if a man and woman in love. No couple is an island. A healthy relationship cannot be isolated from the people around it.

129
The truth is the way he is treating you right now is exception – the way he acts around his family is who he really is. This principle also applies to how the other person behaves around friends. If you want a clear picture of each other, you need to make sure you’re building your relationship amidst the reality of community – not just when you're alone in romantic escapades.

139
Why do we need community for a successful courtship?
Because we really do need one another.
We need to be reminded of reality.
We need protection.
We need help to be and do what we believe.

151
There’s another reason the struggle of waiting for marriage is a blessing. God not only wants to maximize a couple’s enjoyment of sex in marriage, He also want them to learn to trust Him together. When a Christian man and woman systematically deny their own physical desires as an expression of mutual faith and submission to Jesus Christ, they are laying a solid spiritual foundation for the marriage. They’re learning to fight sin as a team. They’re learning to care for each other, pray for each other, and challenge each other. In the most practical of ways, they are submitting to Jesus Christ as the Lord of their relationship.

153
“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers” (1 John 3: 16) . Before marriage, two friends are not yet lovers can prove their love by laying down their own sexual desires and protecting each other’s purity.

156
I knew the moment I stopped struggling against my sinful nature and started believing the lies of lust, I’d be lost. That’s why I jumped out of bed and cried out to God for grace in my times of weakness. That’s why I was accountable to my roommate, Andrew, and my pastor about my thought life. That’s why, when sexual thoughts about Shannon came, I did my best to turn my focus to thanking God for what our future held and to asking for His help to be patient and strong in the meantime.

160
Whatever guidelines you come up with need to grow out of the clear teaching of Scripture and from sincere conviction so you can follow them with joy.

168
The effort will be more than worth it. Each time you feel as though you’re denying yourselves, you’re actually blessing yourselves. Each time you walk away from temptation and refuse to stoke the fires of passion prematurely, you’re sending yourselves the best gifts you’ll receive on the day of your wedding – gifts of trust and respect and increased passion.

Source: Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello To Courtship – Joshua Harris (2000)

Boy Meets Girl – Joshua Harris (2000) 1/3

8
It’s a book about courtship, or what I like to call romance with purpose.

PART 1: Rethinking Romance
17
The main point of I Kissed Dating Goodbye was: “If you’re not ready for marriage, wait on romance.”

21
I was overwhelmed by the thought that the God of the universe was willing to be involved in the details of my life – that He’d be willing to reach down and shut a door that He didn’t want me to walk through.
Still crying, I began to thank Him. “I don’t understand, but I thank You,’ I said. “I don’t understand, but I know You are good. I don’t understand but I know You’re taking this away because You have something better.”
That day was a turning point. I stopped trusting in my own carefully laid plans and asked God to show me His.

22
Don’t let impatience get the upper hand. Be her friend, but don’t communicate your interest until you’re ready to start a relationship that has a clear purpose and direction. You don’t want to play with her heart.

26-27
To put it simply, the joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment. Courtship is simply a relationship guided by this principle.
Courtship is a relationship between a man and a woman who are actively and intentionally together to consider marriage. And it draws on principles we’ll look at in coming chapters about how to genuinely love others, the priority of sexual purity, and our need for the wisdom and perspective that comes from community.
The key was that everything we did in your relationship was the very clearly stated purpose of finding our if God would have us marry.

31
The teacher smiles. “Don’t worry about the other students,” he says. “I’ve carefully chosen brushes and paints for each of you. Trust me. You have what you need to complete the assignment. Remember, your goal is not to create a painting that mirrors the person next to you, but to do your best with the materials I’ve given you to replicate my painting.”
This is our assignment in courtship. It’s good to be inspired by couples who have se a godly example. Still, God isn’t asking us to copy each other but to fix our eyes on our Lord and Master Jesus Christ and pursue courtship in a way that’s faithful to His character.

32
So what is courtship? Basically it’s a really good idea…and not as strange as you might first think. It's dating with a purpose. It's romance chaperoned by wisdom. It’s a way of approaching relationships that can help us live out the truths of God’s Word as we pursue our heart’s desire. It’s a story of boy meets girl, where – whether you choose to marry or not – you can get to know each other in the confidence that you have only God’s very best ahead for each of you.

39
He couldn’t just do what felt right; he had to do what was right. Even though it hurt, he knew that the most caring thing he could do for the girl he loved was distracting both of them from serving God and obeying her parents.

40
Wisdom is simply the ownership of insight. It’s the “Oh, I get it!” that means we understand how one thing relates to another…and that we’re willing to change our attitudes and behaviour accordingly.
I like the way Eugene Peterson describes wisdom. He says that it’s “the art of living skilfully in whatever actual conditions we find ourselves.” When we guide romance with wisdom, we have skilful romance – romance that is directed by what is true about God and about the world he has made.

41-46
Three wisdoms in relationships.
1) Romance says, 2I want it now!” Wisdom urges patience.
We can be patient because we know that God is sovereign and that He is faithful. “I wait for you, O LORD; you will answer, O LORD my God” (Psalm 38:15).
2) Romance says, “This is what I want and it’s good for me.” Wisdom leads us to consider what’s best for the other person.
In James 3:17 we’re told, “The wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.” Add up all these qualities and you see that wisdom in relationships involves a selfless desire to do what’s best for the other person.
- Is staring this relationship now best for him?
- Will expressing all my feelings now serve her?
- Are my actions encouraging him to love God more?
- As I communicating clearly and in a way that helps her?
3) Romance says, “Enjoy the fantasy.” Wisdom calls us to base our emotions and perceptions in reality.

48
The problems we see in relationships today – the impatience, the lack of purpose, and the misguided emotions – are all expressions of foolishness. We need wisdom. Wisdom complements romance. Like the string attached to the kite, wisdom enables romance to really soar.

48
I talk to many couples like Rich and Christy who ask, “How do we know when it’s the right time to start a courtship?” The basic answer to the question is that you’re to start a courtship when you can math romance with wisdom.

53
Anyone can have passionate feelings, but only those who seek God’s purpose and timing can know the true joy of romantic love fulfilled.

55
Do you see the problem? Our mindset is: “God, tell me who, tell me how, tell me when – and then I’ll trust you.” What God wants us to see is that if He did this, our trust wouldn’t be real. We want a definitive answer so we won’t feel vulnerable, weak and dependent on Him. But guess what? We are vulnerable, weak and dependent on Him. And it’s only when we realise our true condition that God can demonstrate His strength and love on our behalf.

63
A key encouragement to him was Philippians 4: 6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

66-68
1) Remember, God is interested in the journey, not just the destination.
It’s a mistake to view the process of deciding how, when, and with whom we begin a relationship as something to “get through” so we can move on to courtship and marriage. God is in no rush. His interest in all this is not limited to getting us married – He wants to use this process, and all the questions and uncertainties it involves, to refine us, sanctify us, and increase our faith.
2) Don’t overspiritualise decision making.
God knows all things. He knows whom we’ll marry before we meet him or her. But that doesn’t mean our task is to discover what He already knows or to worry that we might miss his perfect plan. Our responsibility is to love him, study His Word, deepen our relationship with Him, and learn to evaluate our choices in light of biblical wisdom. If we're doing these things, we can make our decisions in the confident that we aren’t somehow missing God’s will.
3) Our romanticized ideal of what we want in a spouse if often different from what God says matters.
My favourite part of David and Claire’s story is when Claire began to fall in love with David’s character – not his image or his personality, but his character. At first David didn’t fit her romanticized notion of what mattered in a husband, but then she realised that he was a man she could follow.

Source: Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello To Courtship – Joshua Harris (2000)

Beef with tomato source 茄汁牛肉

Source: By a friend - M