Video 3: How to Increase Resiliency in Students (3/4)

Our SCENE today

Our World is Full of:	Consequently, they can tend to Assume:
S – Speed	Slow is bad
C – Convenience	Hard is bad
E – Entertainment	Boring is bad
N – Nurture (Too safely conscious)	Risk is bad
E – Entitlement	Labor is bad

Because our culture is taking away slow, hard, boring, risk and labor, therefore we need to intentionally build them in our students (build the soft skills).

Six Steps to Engage in the Process:
1. Set micro goals
2. Do something slightly different every six seconds
3. Focus on mini decisions and mini steps
4. Stimulate the "adult world" regularly (talk about how it's different in the real world)
5. Celebrate any and all visible progress (celebrate when hit milestone)
6. Lose the "lottery mindset" and see discipline as a bridge

The Statement that Invites Grit 刚毅，坚韧
"I am giving you this feedback because I have high expectations of you and I know you can reach them"
(The adults lack of belief in our students/young people)

Source: Video 3: How to Increase Resiliency in Students by Tim Elmore
https://growingleaders.com/a-map-more-engaged-students-video-series-video-3?inf_contact_key=d2a69bf95f5f6cd9c12d8352f4bd08c4c023c5964a94e40ddb7de655362d77a1

Video 2: How to Connect With Today's Students? (2/4)

Moving from Traditional Pedagogy 教育学 to Transformational Pedagogy

Traditional	Transformational
1. Students are consumers	1. Students are creators
2. Teachers are commanders	2. Teachers are consultants
3. Fosters complacency	3. Fosters contribution

How Could We Approach This New Pedagogy?
1. Keep it short
2. Make it interactive
3. Feed curiosity (Create a dillema/Provide a problem to solve)
4. Say it visually (Metaphor/Images)
5. Give them ownership (Students support what they help create.)
6. Gamify 游戏化 your content (Collaboration/Competition)
7. Involve multiple senses
8. Offer a cause (Give them the why behind the what, what is the meaning)

The Shifts We Must Make (Internal & Personal Shifts)
1. Don't think control, think connect
2. Don't think inform, think interpret
3. Don't think what, think why (Get ther hearts not their heads)
4. Don't think impose (rules & regulations), think expose (to opportunity)
5. Don't think what, think why
6. Don't think prescriptive (指令性的), think descriptive (describe outcomme and refuse tell them steps then suddenly ownership rises)
7. Don't think cool, think real (Be who you are, be genuine)
7. Don't think lecture (theory), think lab (practical, experiment, have fun)

Bill Gates
"Mrs Caffiere took me under her wing and helped make it okay for me to be messy, nerdy 书呆子 boy who was reading lots of books"

Source: Video 2: How to Connect With Today's Students? by Tim Elmore
https://growingleaders.com/a-map-more-engaged-students-video-series-video-2?inf_contact_key=7c5653fc1535819a105d119b1915abe363f31fb187162e570a18d43b748f2248

Video 1: Why Is There a Disconnect? (1/4)

Our Focus Group Results
4 statements students made:

1. I worry a lot about my future and the future of the world
2. My parents have no idea what my life is like..at night.
3. I love the Internet..but I don't trust it.
4. I build my status through social media; I'm addicted to it.


Our Societal Shifts (Margaret Mead)
1. A Pre-figurative Society (Parents figure out everything for you)
2. A Co-figurative Society (Make your own decision)
3. A Post-figurative  Society (Children figure out faster than adult)


A Generation of Firsts
Students are part of the first generation that...

1. Doesn't need adults to get information (needs adults to help to interpret)
2. Can broadcast their very thought or emotion
3. Enjoys external stimuli at their fingertips 24/7
4. Is in social at all times yet often in isolation
5. Will learn more from a portable device than a class
6. Adults have actually enabled to be narcissistic (自恋)
7. Uses a phone instead of a wristwatch, camera, wall calendar, alarm clock, roadmap or board game.


The PRICE of Social Media
Social Media Offers: / Consequently, this can foster :

P - Personal Platform    (Narcissistic culture)
R - Reactionary Opinions (Obsession with judgements)
I - Instant Updates      (Impulsive 浮躁 behavior)
C - Constant Information  (Anxiety and depression)
E - External Stimulation (Addictive lifestyle)


Observations

1. The Extinction of Childlikeness
- The loss of innocence, wonder, trust.

2. The Extinction of Childishness
- The rise in narcissism, obsessive, entitled


Source: Video 1: Why Is There a Disconnect? by Tim Elmore
https://growingleaders.com/a-map-more-engaged-students-video-series-video-1?utm_source=Master+List+%28Monthly%2C+Weekly%2C+Daily%2C+Events+%26+Offers%29&utm_campaign=d4e73e4439-MOTM_Video_Series&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_b8af65516c-d4e73e4439-304600653&mc_cid=d4e73e4439&mc_eid=0bf2d52dd1

Interpretation Learning - July 2017

NO	ENGLISH	CHINESE
1	Maim	残害
2	Downtrodden	压迫
3	Scum	卑贱的人；下贱的人
4	Publican	收税官
5	Animosity	敌意
6		馬 太 福 音 18 6 凡 使 这 信 我 的 一 个 小 子 跌 倒 的 ， 倒 不 如 把 大 磨 石 拴 [shuān] 在 这 人 的 颈 项 上 ， 沉 在 深 海 里 。 馬 太 福 音 18 9 倘 若 你 一 只 眼 叫 你 跌 倒 ， 就 把 他 剜 [wān] 出 来 丢 掉 。 你 只 有 一 只 眼 进 入 永 生 ， 强 如 有 两 只 眼 被 丢 在 地 狱 的 火 里 。
7	Squander	挥霍(Huī Huò)；浪费
8	Malaysia Distribution Law	马来西亚分配法
9	Slow to Anger	不轻易发怒
10	Relenting from disaster	后悔不降所说的灾
11	Entrench These concepts were firmly entrenched in the mathematical formulation of classical mechanics .	根深蒂固 这些概念在经典力学的数学表述中根深蒂固。
12		豆荚(Jiá)

原生家庭与亲密关系

• The 90-10 Principle: 跳出来，回头看（观察自己的感觉）
• 心理感觉： 人可能不记得于你说过什么或做过什么，但记得你留下的心理感觉。
• One Feeling, One Decision： 小时候强烈的感受和经验，会影响大的时候看待事物和决定。
• 在过去关系的伤害，可能会在亲密关系里加倍奉还。
• 没有触动情感，别想会有改变。
• The #1 Predictor of divorce: Habitual avoidance of conflict (“In pain alone” is a major factor that leads to failure in love relationship
• Corrective Emotional Experience: 处于最脆弱的时候： 也是最容易导致更加的伤或更得到医治

Repetition Compulsion 强迫性的重复

• 钢铁的例子（经过火=人生考验）
• 直钢铁经过火后变软 - 弯了 - 凉了 - 变弯钢铁
• 弯钢铁经过火后变软 - 可以再变直 / 更加弯
• 作月例子： 作月没作好导致身体不好，身体不能在作月后调回来，但下一次作月时能容易地把身体调好
• 分手快找伴侣例子： 分手后很快找伴侣会导致关系更糟糕（或更好），因为亲密关系就好像铁经过火后变软

The Healing Path

1. Courage to face the pain 不要像鸵鸟

2. Know your emotional wounds 没有经过悲伤的饶恕，只是很表面的

3. Expand perspective & re-evaluate via mature, adult point of view 小时候看到“大河”，大的时候再看的时候原来是“小沟渠”

4. Walk through via empathy: Corrective Emotional Experiences 5-4-3-2-1-1/2

5. Become wounded healer to love others

The Keys to love

1. Managing differences & conflicts

2. Intentionally strengthening relationship

3. Nurturing a healthy true self

When you angry, remember two things below:

1. 疏导： 以情感词汇表明感受

2. 问自己：我现在需要的是什么？

修复关系十大步骤

1. 表达善意： 我感谢/欣赏你的地方

2. 陈述事件情况

3. 以情感词汇表明感受

4. 我所需要的是...

5. 关系目标：我希望...

6. 我有责任/错的地方

7. 我的改变： 我下次可以改进的地方

8. 你的改变

9. 如果我们都改变...

10. 谢谢聆听/考虑

讲员理念

• 受伤的心人人有
• 倾听共情皆可学
• 军事武器民用化
• 服事百分之九九

Conclusion

To love is to bring out the best in each other

爱就是助人活出最美的生命

Source: 原生家庭与亲密关系by 黄维仁博士 05.07.2017